Put into perspective...

A while back I posted on the Stockdale Paradox and mentioned how firm believe in difficult times have helped people to keep hope and ultimately succeed. I tried putting myself in their situation, as a prisoner of war that undergo random torture and don't know whether or not I could ever go back home, let alone leave the prison.

In such a situation, people still had the courage to look towards the future and come back home. I could imagine the worry in their eyes and faces as they think about the families they've left behind and how they could no longer watch after their young ones. Of how the future was bleak inside those prison walls that could quite possibly be the last walls they see before they die.

So why am I sweating? What loss could there be that's possibly worse than the ones those soldiers have faced? Yet my head twirls and spins in absolute confusion and fear and doubt, wandering inside the mind as if lost and not sure where to go.

I've invested far too much to come out of this cool and calm, but I gotta stay level headed to play out the rest of this hand. What a position to be in eh? At the very least, if I lose it all, I can say that the sky is still the limit. If anything, having less will free me to do everything and anything. Cut my losses, put on new wings and maybe fly even higher the next time around.

I am not invincible, but my heart is resilient. Greatness awaits.

1 + 1 = 1

Sometime last year, a mentor of mine proposed this equation, promising me that if I could figure out the proof behind it, that I would have the ability to succeed in life. As an example, he mentioned how the co-founder of KB Home had solved this equation before he went off to start KB Home. Motivated and encouraged, I asked him a barrage of questions to define the nature of the problem, and tried to solve it the best way I could... as an engineer.

Needless to say, I failed horribly and came out of many hours of trying with little to show. 1+1=1. How does this add up? Some of you readers might also be curious and start to formulate your own answer. For those of you who know it, I can only tell you that this is not a very logical problem, but more of a creative one.

"Think outside the box" was the main hint I was given, as I was asked to throw away my engineering instincts to figure this one out. Simple equation, simple answer, but in a world like the one inside my mind, a complex set of pathways to demolish before I could grasp the meaning behind it all.

My success may have nothing to do with this equation, or perhaps after a lifetime of success, I will have realized I knew it all along. Or maybe someday soon, I figure it out, and it'll push me towards some greater places. However, the problem still lingers inside my mind and I think about it from time to time, just wondering what secret the equation holds, and whether it really is something that will lead me to ultimate success.

Whatever it may be, it remains fact that 1 + 1 = 1. The laws and principles behind it will remain just the same, and will help many to a future filled with greatness and glory.

Even good things can go bad

I'm not talking about food here, but about an honest intent at a better life. I think I've stressed myself more than I should have over the past couple of weeks. What was once a healthy attempt to try to do better turned into a horrible obsession towards perfection and delusion.

I'm not quite sure how it happened, but I can say that my ambitions and desires got the best of me, and the slightest shift felt like magnitude 8 earthquakes that broke apart mountains. It was only until today, when I took some time in reflection that I was able to regain some control of sanity and try to figure out a healthy outlook once again.

Even though I know that life has its ups and downs. Even though that every door closed can still leave open a window of opportunity. Even though there's faith, good karma, friends and family. Your own emotions can get the best of you. You drown yourself in those desires and let it take control, and it causes immeasurable stress in mind and body and ultimately your heart.

Finding balance is key in all aspects of your life, but I think it's especially important in managing your goals and objectives. Reach as far as you can, but don't let the fact that things aren't working out get in the way of your progress or overall happiness. I know it certainly took hold of my happiness when I kept looking at the wrong with laser-like focus.

In life, there are things that work your way, and things that don't. I think when they don't you try harder, but you stay open minded to the alternatives. Your heart will probably be jumping and screaming for you to keep going after the one prize that's near impossible to reach, but don't let it take over your entirety and burn inside of you in such a way that it makes you miserable and filled with pessimism, fear and doubt.

Whether or not our goals are achievable, it's more important to have a good head on your shoulder and figure out the greatest happiness that we can achieve, and of all things, I believe everyone is capable of being happy... as long as they pursue the right paths.

Sometimes it's better to stand still

Amid the flurry of changes going on in my friends' lives, I started to reach a point where I wanted to make a big splash too. I've already had my big splash last year when I switched jobs and got myself a hefty raise, or the previous year when Viacom bought our little internet company and paid all of us some nice bonuses.

However, it still boils my blood when I see people progress as I stand by and watch. I really do care about the success of my friends, and I would do anything to help them. It's just that I don't want to be the one watching them make milestones while I wait my turn. It's a horrible habit that I've picked up... this thing called impatience.

The past few days and weeks have been a flurry of thoughts and daydreaming of envisioning myself in new roles and greater things, and while these are all things I would like to accomplish someday, I'm trying to convince myself to slow down. Jumping all over the place will do nothing but stress me out and throw me off course.

It's fitting that I am like this though. I am the type of guy to launch a million projects and finish only one. I'm not very much for details, though I get pretty scrupulous at times. I'd a man of general direction, and I'd prefer to point the finger in one direction as I gaze over the horizon. Perhaps someday, I can do that and earn lots of money while doing it.

But until the, I must understand that sometimes, it's better to stand still and not run around in the same circle over and over again. Plan, execute and move forward to the next step. Ah... patience and discipline... where hast thou gone??

Grownups should get summer vacations too

Of course, this is just one of those far-fetched thoughts on life that really wouldn't apply so well in real life. However, adults should get summer vacations too! Just like students who work so hard all fall~spring before going crazy and unwinding over the summer! I mean, adults are people too, and they need time to reduce stress and enjoy life!

Of course, there would be major issues with running businesses, as businesses don't close for the summer. But what if there was some sort of well-developed shift system, where people can have up to a month of vacation at a time? Perhaps similar to the public school "track" system? Now THAT would be the coolest thing since the internet!

I know. It's just my lame excuse as I breathe in the last few breathes of vacation air before I head back to the office to work tomorrow morning. Not that I don't enjoy work. I do like what I do, at least enough to spend an entire day and not be bothered by it. However, lately I've been feeling some major pressure and need to unwind for a bit longer.

Perhaps it's my own ambitions built up into a flaming snowball that builds up over time? I need some better stress management skills I guess. Perhaps some of you can offer some good advice? Otherwise, I think I'm going to kamakaze into my dreams! A one way trip to paradise... hahaha

the bigger picture

It's easy to be positive when things are good. It's easy to be negative when times are bad. Our outlook is often times tied to the experiences we go through, and though this is a very human thing to do, I sometimes feel we should strive to be above it.

Being human, our vision is limited. We rarely see the entire picture, but just bits and pieces of it, and we have to figure out how to fill in the rest of it. We're artists of our own lives and we paint the void according to our own liking, with colors that reflect our dreams and strokes that define our passion.

So when times are good, we use vibrant colors. Likewise, when times are bad, our strokes turn to paint over those vibrant colors with darker ones and destroy the beautiful painting in progress. Few times, however, will we step back to take a look at all the other pieces and make a reasonable guess to what the picture may look like.

I bet if we all just stepped back and took a look at the big picture, we could realize something significant in our lives. Too often we see what's in front of us, and we forget the goal we strive after. We look at the fact that there's a forest in front of us and forget that the map specifically pointed out that we'd have to walk through that forest to reach our destination.

While it's not good also to look at the goal and not what's in front of you, I think we should not forget to keep an open mind and see through the opportunities provided within hardships in life. Some of us we can simply avoid and ignore, while most others we will overcome, but ultimately, these are temporary moments, and they'll help you along the way.

Somehow, someway, the bigger picture had already taken it into account. It's no fun sometimes, but there's purpose and reason. And for that, all you can do is to smile and walk forward and be thankful the picture is slowly being completed as the masterpiece it should be.

The tree and the bird [revised and unfinished]

This is just a little folk story I felt like writing... it's not done yet, and I've certainly written something similar before. But I decided to edit it a little and redo it. I'm thinking perhaps someday, this could make a nice bedtime story. Until then, it's a work in progress. It's a step different from my usual topics, but I figure it's good to switch things up a little sometimes :)

__________________________________________

There once was a small bird flying by on a windy winter's day when it flew down to a tree to rest. Upon landing, the tree, noticing the little bird, gathered up its branches to shield it from the wind. The tree was intrigued to see such a bird flying in this weather, and introduced itself to the bird. The bird likewise returned the introduction and started to converse...

After a while, the tree had learned of the bird's journey, of how it had dreamed of flying high up into the endless sky, up to the stratosphere and beyond. The bird had big dreams, and even on windy days like this, it was determined to give everything it has to fly through and reach its goal. The tree was inspired, and admired the young bird. It too wanted to do its best, and wanted to see the bird reach its goal.

Over time, the bird would fly out and return every once in a while, always to and fro in a flurry, but sharing its tales of working hard to fly higher and higher each day. However, one day, it didn't return as it usually did. The tree was saddened by this, as it seemed to have lost a friend to grow together with, and soon started to wither here and there.

It was a little bit before the tree decided to get out of its funk and strive towards improvement and better things. Although it wasn't much at the beginning, the tree made a choice towards a this new way of life. However, not before long, the bird reappeared onto the tree's branches, as if a ghost returned from the grave.

Soon after, it was as if nothing had happened, and the bird made its routine stops by the tree, telling it of its adventures into the open skies, and its struggles flying into higher altitudes. The tree would then, in turn, talk about life on the ground and the things going on in the world below. The tree was happy again to spend such wonderful times, but still felt a partial fear that the bird may one day fly off again and not return. It had hoped the bird would stay, that it could watch the bird fly high up in the air and fly up into its dreams.

Soon, the tree's passion and ambition grew as a result of this desire, and it too decided to dream big and strive for the unending skies. However, the tree realized that it was not a bird, so it could not do the same things like a bird. This didn't stop the tree's ambition. In fact, it only made it bigger as the tree decided to be the best tree that it could.

It expanded its roots to reach the river over the hill, and grew bigger and stronger. Its branches thickened and created a safe haven for the bird to sleep. It bore fresh, ripe fruit to provide nourishment and energy. It also grew taller, and allowed the bird to sit atop high in the air and watch the land below as if it were flying.

Everyday, as the bird broke barriers, so did the tree, and the two continued to progress forward in their respective paths. Both becoming stronger, and closing in on their goals. It was a memorable time that the tree and bird shared, and through the tough times and good times both thrived in their passions and ambitions.

These were quite happy times for the tree, but even after a little while, it was still troubled. Perhaps someday, the bird may have to move on to other places to reach even higher skies. The tree, however tall it may be, realized it could not catch up with a bird's movements. Trees could not fly, and could not roam free like birds. Another day could come, where the bird may fly, and being the best tree in the world could not suffice.

The tree, once again distraught, was unable to figure out what to do. In the end, all it had left was a simple prayer... perhaps hoping it would wake up as a bird the next morning, or that somehow, it could hold the bird's key to unending skies.

With great emotion and conviction, the tree prayed and asked for a solution...

The following morning came...

unemployment and the future

I'm not much for trends, as trends tend to come and go, but as a young 26 year old who's goal is to prosper financially all the days of his life, I have to think ahead and figure out how I'll go about doing that.

That in mind, nowadays, the unemployment rate continues to show unfavorably and the target group of people who are getting axed are those who are old, but not old enough to retire. Those who are 50~64 years of age who have too much experience to be compensated fairly in the down market and have health-care liabilities. It's an unfortunate situation, and having to watch this happen from the sidelines is a bit unnerving.

Someday I'm going to be 50 years old [God willing I survive that long... haha]. When that time comes, I must secure a stable source of income. In order to do this, however, I must figure out a way to break free from working for someone else OR be at the top of the food chain, where I will have to make the painful decision to axe others. It sounds very cruel, but at the same time, we're talking worst case scenarios. If you had the choice, which end would you rather be in?

I certainly would like to live to see the day I turn 50 and 60 and beyond, and I would like to live it without struggling to survive. I am sure there are plenty of ways to ensure this, but the one most secure to me is by securing my cash flow.

It's pretty crazy when you think about the current situation. Most of us tend to think about as far as just a few years from now. When you were in grade school, you thought as far ahead as summer break. In Jr. High, a few years to high school. In high school, a few years to college. In college, a few years to your first permanent position.

But from there on out, you can't simply think about what you'll do until you reach senior level. You'll have to think beyond that. You'll have to think about what you'll do when your industry goes through a meltdown. About what you do when you've hit peak. About 10 years down the road, and then 15, and then 25 and all the way up to... say 50 years ahead.

People envision saving up and enjoying financial prosperity until they're 65, and then cruising their way through life until they rest in peace. The world is not so simple or as easy anymore, at least not here in the US. It used to be the land of dreams and unending opportunities, and while it still is for many people, the price of this dream has gone up a few more gallons in sweat and tears, and perhaps a few pints of blood as well.

Do you have it in you?

the upper class... and then everybody else

I was reading a few real estate articles today, and the general trend I've been noticing lately is not only how prices are still sharply declining [5~10K a month!!] but also how homes in more affluent areas are not only staying afloat, but still appreciating in value. Though I guess this may be no big surprise, it does reflect a little bit of something more interesting of note, and that is the current standing of people in the upper class.

Currently, our country is going through a recession [though some are still in denial], and with food and gas prices going up, a whole lot of people are straining their belts a little bit to get by in these tough times. Yet, there are still people shopping for multi-million dollar homes in affluent areas across the US; Homes which have accrued more value since the credit crisis that blew up last August.

It just comes to show, at least to me, just how far up the upper class really is. It's lead me to the feeling that middle class is far from a truly middle class. Middle class is just another term for those people who can get by with paying for food and bills and have just a little bit extra breathing room to enjoy a few more simple things in life. It's come to the point where the gap between middle class and upper class has become almost like the gap between upper class and lower class.

To put more clearly my case in point, the difference between upper and middle class are in hundreds of thousands to millions of dollars. The difference between upper class and lower class are a mere 50K. Though these numbers are a bit arbitrary, I do feel it's accurate enough to get my point across.

The true middle class is fading away fast, and now I believe that it's the upper class, and then just everybody else....

________________________________

on a side note, i haven't posted in a while, but i'm glad i had something to post. it seems i still got quite a few visits while i was 'away.' i appreciate y'all checking up on this blog. =)

I'm still alive y'all

Just to let you all know, it's the freelance gig that I picked up that has caused me to slow down in my posts. I'll get back up to posting when I have more time to do so! For now, I hope you all are well and that y'all continue to kick ass in life [like me! hahaha... sorta... umm... nevermind!!]

That said, I leave with this note:
“It is the set of the sails, not the direction of the wind that determines which way we will go.”

Life Stock!!

In the news today, the dollar picked up some strength against the Euro and pushed oil prices back down to $116 a barrel. This caused Chevron [CVX v2.2%] to take a hit but allowed some of the financials to bounce back with CitiGroup [C ^4.6%] and JP Morgan [JPM ^4%] leading the way. Overall, the market outlook remained positive among investors until near the end of the day until Microsoft released high earnings but released an outlook that didn't beat expectations. The market remained positive but closed on a downward beat.

On other news today, shares of EdwardKim [EKC ^3.5%] have been steadily climbing up due to speculation of an oncoming deal with potential partner BHDG in setting up it's new software unit that intends to expand towards the end of the year. Analysts report this could bring in extra revenue of up to 10~15% of what it reported at the end of Q1, and have raised their price target on the stock.

"[EdwardKim] has shown some real growth over the past year and looks to break another plateau by the end of this year. This one's not only great for short-term but is also a keeper" said one analyst from Wall Street.

"[EdwardKim] will beat its Q2 outlook for sure" commented another analyst, who admits to selling off half of his Apple stocks to buy up shares of EKC.

While it was a great day for EKC, there are still plenty of analysts still struggling to find reason to buy now. For a while, EKC has been looking into new ventures into the LOVE commodity, but has found itself just a bit shy of tapping into the right sources for this precious good. There's currently speculation about EKC already having found its source, but the company has yet to make any public announcements regarding this venture.

"There's just too little we know at the moment" said one Wall Street broker who has been following EKC since it's last venture into this precious good. "Once I see some signs of commitment I'll be ready to buy, but until then, I'll watch carefully to see its next move."

The CEO of EKC, Mr.Kim, in a brief interview with CNBC, did not comment on its venture and left everything 'up in the air.' "Who knows where we will head next?" the CEO said.

Kim did say, however, that it's plan to take over Apple by buying majority share has been retracted. It intends to, instead, look into other industries that show a bit more promise during these tough market times. "As much as I like Apple, they're still a luxury that people are now starting to feel they cannot afford" commented Kim as he referred to the declining cash flowing in the pockets of young teens who's parents are not only making less money, but also losing jobs.

leave comments [here] for edward kim @ blogger
(c) mynameisedwardkim.blogspot.com

Confidence

Confidence. It's when you believe in the ultimate success in all the things that you do. Without it, your struggles may go in vain. With it, you will claim the highest of victories.

The past few days, I've been struggling over some technological difficulties with setting up a project environment for a freelance job I was asked to do. Last night was especially frustrating considering I had only today to make sure I got everything working so I could make the proposal by tomorrow. Nothing I tried worked last night, but I didn't give up. In fact, despite my progress, I just thought to myself quietly that I just needed to keep trying, and it will work out in the end.

Lo and behold, today I got it working. I was so ecstatic to see it work that I just stopped there to enjoy the rest of my night. [It was only one hour, so I thought it was worth it...haha] It's funny how it works that way. I honestly felt that perhaps there was no way out of this, but as I kept trying, I kept inching closer and closer to the goal until I reached a point when it just suddenly clicked and it all worked.

It's greatly improved my morale, and also reaffirmed my determination in a few other 'projects' I have going in life. You never know how close you are when you try, and some day, it'll just click and magically happen. However, it'll only work if you keep trying and learning as you go.

Don't be afraid to scrap a few things and step back. At the same time, don't give up on any particular method until you have tried it all the way through. I know I wouldn't have accomplished tonights feat if I wasn't persistent.

And once you succeed, WOW WHAT A GREAT FEELING IT IS!!! But it all starts, and it all ends with your confidence. Believe =)

[I'm a bit cracked out after coffee... pardon my broken chain of thoughts if any]

Tagged... haha

he rules are:
1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about himself.
3. At the end of the post, the player then tags five people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

What was I doing 10 years ago:
Student at a private Catholic ALL-BOYS high school... OH BABY!

Five things on my To Do List today:
1. Call my mutual fund broker
2. Set up my tomcat web server to handle web services
3. Gym; today is chest and triceps day
4. Take some time to pray
5. Write a letter

Things I would do if I were a billionaire:
1. Invest in the market and/or other small businesses in the local area [maybe franchise]
2. Buy a home to live in
3. Donate to Charity
4. Set up retirement for my folks
5. Travel around the world


Three of my bad habits:
1. Taking extended breaks when I'm studying or working on a personal project
2. Leaving all my bills piled up on my desk
3. Neglecting my lower level priorities for extended periods of time

Five places I’ve lived:
1. Los Angeles, CA
2. Pusan, South Korea
[i haven't lived anywhere outside of these two places]

Five jobs I’ve had:
1. Snack shop cashier
2. Freelance Web Designer
3. Software Engineer [current]
4. High school tutor
5. Sweatshop factory worker

Five books I’ve recently read:
1. Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle - Tom Venuto
2. Good to Great - Jim Collins
3. Winning - Jack Welch
4. Stay Mad for Life - Jim Cramer
5. Our Iceberg is Melting - John Kotter et. al

The five I tagged:
[Unfortunately, I don't know any bloggers outside of the dood who tagged me...]

I was tagged by TED.

Stock Market Madness

Last week, I opened a fake stock market account, just to test the waters a bit before I decide to jump into it for real. It was my original intention to just let my fund manager just allocate the funds to the right places and have me just watch my money grow without thinking too much about it. However, somewhere along the way, I have peaked some interest in the market, especially with a few companies that I've been starting to like. If you look at the image [click for larger view], you'll see that I've picked out 4 companies. Walmart, Microsoft, Apple and McDonalds. Most of you who read my blog regularly know that I was tracking Apple and McDonalds for a little while.

Based on the results you see in my account, part of me sorta wished I just jumped in already. However, I know that kind of wishful thinking will get me in the hole someday! haha... for now, I'll be happy even with these fake earnings as I progress forward. Someday these stocks will take a hit, and perhaps then I might be glad I didn't invest just yet. In any case, it's still so far so good. Hopefully, I pick up a feel for the market and start trading within the next couple of months. Though I give up current opportunities, I know there's much more to be had in the future. That's the key to good investing, and no matter what, I intend to do well!

Are you an investor? Do you invest real money? Or fantasy money? Doesn't matter to me, as long as you can play the field as if it were your own money, but if you want to talk stock, just holla and we can discuss =)

To wish you all a good day!

ps. Perhaps for those of you who are religious, can you all pray for some peace at home? It has become somewhat of a warzone lately! Thanks ^_^

Counting my blessings

Around June of last year, I decided to leave my old company and started interviewing for my next gig. Of the places I interviewed, one was technicolor. Most of you should know technicolor. They're the guys that produce the videos/dvd's and now HD-dvd's and distribute them to retail stores, where you guys all go and buy them up! =)

Anyways, back then, it seemed like a great opportunity where I got to play with some pretty cool technology. Though I can't disclose what they were planning on doing, it was something I definitely would've bragged to all of you about whenever you popped in a dvd or HD-dvd into your player. However, despite it all, I got a fast offer from my current company, who promised some decent benefits as well as a pay increase that somewhat fit the bill. It was a good deal and turned out to give me some great experience.

On top of that, as you all know, Sony corp. decided a couple months ago to pull the plug on their blu-ray project. After my good buddy's company WB decided to switch to HD-DVD, Sony lost major steam and decided blu-ray wouldn't survive. I guess that's another swing and a miss since their mini-disc fiasco, but I digress.

When I think about it now, I wonder then, what if I had worked for technicolor, and was assigned to a team that worked on blu-ray technology? Your guess is probably the same as mine when I say that I would've ran into some serious hurdles had I found my way to technicolor and not my current company.

I was sitting in dinner with relatives when the thought occured, as my uncle used to work for a lab where they manufacture and research DVD technologies. For a moment, it made me think about my current situation, and that I should count my blessings. I could've really gone either way last year, but events happened to lead me to a place that has offered me something wonderful.

So tonight, I'm counting my blessings. I know that there's a lot of other things in life that I sometimes feel is not going well, but I wonder if everything is just a plan set in motion, only needing time to resolve and take place. If that is the case, I feel I should do my best to be ready, and make the most of what I have until those new blessings show up. And when they do, I hope I can share them with all of you.

Unless it's a girl... you know, you can only share so much! lol... but hey, if i win the lotto, dinner's on me! =P

Work the body

The weather was really hot today, but I couldn't help but admire how beautiful the day was. The sky was so blue, and being out with just a t-shirt on was great. I can't wait until I get in peak shape and start my vanity parade! haha

My exercise routine has been slowly evolving, though my intensity has been wavering. Hopefully, I can push harder in the oncoming couple of months. I've come a long way since November, but I know I can push harder.

Speaking of which, after half a year of learning how to exercise and what to eat, I've reached a level of knowledge to figure out a decent routine and diet. Granted, I've got a long way to go before mastering anything, but the basic exercises [especially cardio and weights] have been a real joy to learn, and I'd gladly share any info with any of you readers if you guys want some advice.

Exercise has been one part of my great change over the past year. It's certainly raised my confidence, boosted my immune system and has given me a way to push in other aspects of life. Because for each week I add more weights to my workout, the more confidence I get in lifting more emotional and intellectual weights. I take challenges head on, and I feel power to do.

Exercise... it does a body good =)

Random thoughts

Sometimes, you don't care to be told you're wrong. You just want them to cover your back long enough until you finally get your head back on straight and do the right thing. I've rarely had those type of people in my life. Everyone's usually on their high horse letting me know it's wrong and forcing me to do certain things, and shame on me for thinking I had no freedom in my own actions!

Lately, I don't really care for what others think. I do what I want, and I move forward. The only ones who could ever change my course are the ones I love dearly. Even if it's a stupid thing, or a nuisance, I do it anyway out of love for them. If only they could do the same for me... haha

Who are you??

All things considered, my past few days have been quite grand. I've been feeling good and picked up some motivation to kick some more butt in life. Unfortunately, amidst all of the doing, I have slowed down in my thinking, and ended up having little to write on these blogs =) I guess balance is key in everything in life.

Don't worry though. I will continue to post up some good content once in a while, as I know that you wonderful readers come out every now and then to read what I have to say! haha... but something does spark my curiosity as I write these blogs. Would you like to entertain my curiosity? Quite frankly, aside from 1 person, I don't know who else reads these blogs. I think it would be nice if you guys came outta the woodwork and introduced yourselves!

In the same way, I guess if you guys are curious to know more about me, feel free to leave a comment and ask. Let's up the social aspect of this blog, yea? :D

[edit] On a side note, Jim Cramer loves Apples too! Have a good one!

The Stockdale Paradox

Admiral Jim Stockdale was the highest ranking US military officer in the "Hanoi Hilton" prisoner-of-war camp during the Vietnam War. During his imprisonment, he set up a system of communication between soldiers to prevent difficulties from isolation, a way to endure torture and give as little intelligence as possible and overall tried to keep everyone physically and mentally intact to survive the whole ordeal, all the while continuing to fight the war internally.

In a book "Good to Great" he shared his story to the author, and after hearing his story, wrote this conclusion.

"Life is unfair - sometimes to our advantage, sometimes to our disadvantage. We will all experience disappointments and crushing events somewhere along the way, setbacks for which there is no "reason," no one to blame. It might be disease... injury... accident... losing a loved on... getting swept away in a political shakeup... getting shot down over Vietnam and thrown into POW camp for 8 years. What separates people... is not the presence or absence of difficulty, but how they deal with the inevitable difficulties of life. In wrestling with life's challenges, the Stockdale Paradox has proved powerful for coming back from difficulties not weakened, but stronger - not just for me, but for all those who've learned the lessen and tried to apply it."

Also to quote, the Stockdale paradox was defined as:

"Retain faith that you will prevail in the end regardless of difficulty AND confront the brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be."

In admiral Stockdale's interview, he said the ones who didn't make it out were the optimists. The one's who thought they'd be out by Christmas, or by Easter. That those were disappointed and died of a broken heart.

I think that's some pretty deep stuff [for lack of better terms]. To have a goal in mind, and to believe in victory, despite the reality of the situation. I think that's the key part here. It's not so much faith by itself, but faith despite knowing reality. There are times when you can have faith under any circumstance, but it's attributed to ignorance and denial of truth. In such times, unable to live with reality, one relies on faith, but breaks apart because they were no longer grounded.

I think a lot of us live like this. We say 'if only' we finish high school or 'if only' we graduate college. If only I got married. If only I became CEO of a large company. If only I [fill in the blank]. And as time goes, some are achieved and some are not. For each item that is not achieved, you slowly degenerate and step back from your objectives. You lose hope, because you've defined your failures absolutely, and while this isn't a total loss, for you who perceives it that way, it is a loss.

How do you view life? Is it a timeline of events that happen when you expect it to? Or is it a journey that's not exactly set, but still contains all the things you strive for? Lately, I've been setting up my timeline as if i had the perfect timing for everything in life. In two months, I will have achieved x. By the end of the year, I will have achieved y. Of course, I still set goals and deadlines for myself, but I wonder if I should reconsider the expectations that come with it.

I hope I look fit this summer. I hope I finally make that connection by the end of the year. I hope my investment in the market returns me a certain percentage by 2nd quarter of next year. These are my goals, but not so much set in stone, since if I don't reach it by then, then I must press on and have faith that it's not that much further away. That my good fight was not so much in vain, and that success was just a little more longer.

It was similar to the book I mentioned. I started reading it this past January. I read about 95% of it by mid-February, but because of the appendix [60 pages long!] I thought I had quite a long ways to go. I used to read a page or two here and there over the course of the next 6 weeks. Last week, I had 3 more pages to go thinking I had about 65. I told myself how it's going to take me forever at this rate. I should try to commit more to it and finish it.

I sat down today to finish it, and 2 pages later, realized I finished the book. Dumbfounded as I was, I flipped back to my favorite parts, and the Stockdale Paradox came up. I was a 5~15 minute read away from finishing the book a couple months ago. Who knew? =)

I've got goals in life, as I am sure you do. In unfavorable conditions, you lose hope, or get depressed if you're in it too long. You motivate yourself by setting deadlines and assuming you'll be out of that unfavorable condition within a set time that seems reasonable. In the end, unless you've lucked out, you will be setting yourself up for disappointment. Granted, people get worn down when they're trying to climb up, or get out of any situation they don't like, it's better to deal with the hard facts while still keeping hope.

This goes back to the excerpt I posted above, on how life is unfair. Sometimes you just deal with the burn and hang on. It hurts, and there might be no emotional release as there is nothing to blame. But we're people. We're resilient beings capable of incredible endurance, especially when empowered by the slightest bit of hope.

In the Hanoi Hilton situation, the prisoners would wash the floor with mops in a rhythm that tapped the floor. The rhythm was the coded communication that admiral Stockdale taught all the prisoners. The tapping consistently spread the message every single day to all prisoners saying "we love you."

You're not a POW as you read this blog. You're free to exercise your right to be great, and even though it may take many years before you see a glimpse of your greatness, who knows, maybe you're just a few pages away?

Impatience

Sometimes I wish I was set already. That I've already gone through all the hard work, and have accomplished all I wanted to accomplish. So that everything I do from here on out is just extra. I'd still live an active life, but the burning desire wouldn't feel like an uncomfortable burning that digs deep into my inner soul, but one that simply burns brightly.

My friend, the other day, sent me a link to an article on perception. About how our happiness and unhappiness is caused by ourselves, and that our happiness can arise from simply being content. I'm wondering if the author was confusing or lacking distinction between peace and joy.

I think there are different types of happiness. One is a happiness that comes from peace. The feeling that makes you think life is good, and you're doing just fine. The other happiness is that which comes from joy. This is the explosion of inner goodness that rushes out of your heart with indescribable force. Both induce good feelings, but are different.

The author of the article I read prescribes a dose of peace by changing our perception of the world. To be thankful for what we have despite always seeking for more. And I agree we should all count our blessings, but would it be too much to have greater ambition and desire it to the point of feeling the burn of passion and desire?

This sort of leads me to the notion that I may not be ambitious, but simply greedy. Let's think on that matter for just a short minute. What is ambition? What is greed? Perhaps they are the same? Often times, greed is associated with wealth, while ambition with achievements. One is associated with obsession while the other for a healthy desire. Is this burning one of excessive desire that leans towards greed? Or is this a healthy burn, like that you feel when pumping iron at the gym, that you must overcome to keep progressing?

Either way, being human that I am, I have times when I dislike the burn. I dwell on it and wish it were to stop. No one likes to suffer, even if it's a good suffering. But I cannot help but question whether or not this burn is a good thing or a bad thing. Whether I've gone too far in my desires, or whether this is how it's done when good people move on to greatness.

I guess it comes down to the vision I've talked about a couple posts back. The direction and groundwork on which I decide to press forward in the direction of my choosing. I don't think I'm wrong in the destination I want to go, but I realize perhaps I wasn't as strong as I used to be, or as strong as I thought to be.

A long time being stagnant can wear down a person. Turn them immobile and harder to gain momentum. Of course, the tricky part being the fact that sometimes, you really don't know whether you're moving or not. Or whether sitting down is as helpful as standing up and walking. And naturally, this results in the tunnel vision that causes your perceptions to change and narrow down into only a handful of things that cause your heart to feel like bursting.

Ultimately, it's hard to say what I'm really feeling, or even trying to say for that matter. Quite honestly, my brain tells me little has changed, and what little change there has been have all been benefiting me these past few months. I live and learn and push forward with the new might that I've acquired. But this persistent heart of mine that keeps seeking the quick rewards, what can I do to gather patience in those small quarters?